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Friday, May 18, 2007

A Public Service Announcement

Are you sometimes ill at ease - even in Massachusetts - with the liberal tone of political discourse? Porcupine and the WideAwakes are ready to help with the sale of Liberal Offset Certificates.

From the description by Kender on EBay -

Yes that's right, you can still say that the War in Iraq is wrong and as long as you have bought a sufficient amount of offsets your patriotism cannot be questioned. Walk around freely yelling "Bush lied - people died" and if you are confronted by a conservative, whip out your Liberal Offset Certificate and put them in their place. In fact you can spout almost any nonsense you want and as long as you have bought a Liberal Offset, nobody can say a thing.

Here's how it works. When you hold liberal beliefs many people believe you are simply insane, and Liberal Offsets counter that simply by taking the money you have paid for the Offset and...well, much like Carbon Credits nobody is really sure how paying some Voluntary Guilt Tax is supposed to offset the pollution you create, but believe us it does. Just ask Al Gore.

Liberal Offsets work the same way.

When you buy a Liberal Offset that allows you to spout insane viewpoints Justin from Right ON The Right, Kender from Wide Awakes Radio and, indeed the ENTIRE Wide Awakes Radio crew will continue to hold view points that are based in logic and argue from a position of Common Sense and Patriotism.

It is that simple.

Now you can hold positions that directly contradict each other and not have to explain the disparity between them.

Each Liberal Offset Certificate comes personalized with the name of your choice. For a limited time each Liberal Offset you buy will have 4 FREE Offsets added to each order, for a Grand Total of 5 Liberal Offsets for the amazing low price of $5.00 plus shipping. That is 125 hours of argument for each certificate. That should be enough to last until the 2008 Presidential election. Handling Charges are included in shipping.
Porcupine, Right on the Right, GM Roper, Mr. Ogre of the Carolinas and the other Wide Awakes will continue to pump rational argument into the hyperbaric chamber of liberal thought, in order to keep balance and rationality alive. For instance, Porcupine will even provide cogent arguments agaisnt the banning of dihydrogen monoxide, and other such substances.

A link to obtain your certificate is
HERE - Kender will help keep the progressive movement from spining off any number of cliffs with this handy trade-off.


Blogger T. F. Stern said...

I like this kind of humor. I've a friend from church who needs to take advantage of this offer; nice guy, just hasn't got a clue.

10:33 PM  

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