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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Let the Healing Begin.....

Porcupine has been listening to the callers to the Howie Carr radio show vent their frustrations about the incredibly stupid publicity stunt orchestrated by the Cartoon Network to promte its show Teen Hunger Force. Porcupine admits to watching Adult Swim from time to time, and generally enjoys its saucy point of view. However, today proved that its executives and decision makers are not yet out of their teens. Possibly, not yet out of their diapers.

The Network hired a young Boston artist to place electronic boards, bedecked with lights and wires, under bridges, near major hospitals, etc. Pandemonium ensued as both interstate highways and major Boston arteries were shut down, along with the Charles River itself. It turns out that these aggregations of wires, placed artfully under train tracks, glow at night. Unfortunately, they were found during the day, when their charm was not so readily apparent. Now, any enterprising terrorist could be churning these 'harmless' devices out, with real bombs in them, designed to explode upon impact as they are taken down. How very clever and helpful, Cartoon Network.

Mr. Carr's callers described their various situations. One lady had taken a personal day off from work in order to have a doctor appointment - she spent the day trapped in traffic, and must reschedule and take another day. Another lady described how her husband, a delivery man, was in trouble at his job for being unable to deliver time-sensitive packages; indeed, both FedEx and UPS will have to pay a pretty penny for late arrival fees. Another caller pointed out that since the areas closed were adjacent to major hospitals, it was an exceedingly bad day to have a heart attack. While the various emergency agencies may receive reimbursement for police and bomb squads from the Cartoon Network and Turner Broadcasting, nobody is likely to reimburse the lady who lost a day's pay.

As Governor Patrick said, "It appears to be a hoax, but it isn't funny".

Porcupine has a few suggestions for the Cartoon Network to begin to make amends.

First, there should be an apology from Frylock the French Fries, the most articulate member of the cast of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Some sort of 'Something You Should Know' moment.

Next, in the spirit of helping Boston, young Stewie Griffin should be dispatched from Quahog to act as a spokesman for Mayor Mumbles Menino. Just imagine Menino's office replete with Stewie-isms like "Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!"
And finally, Mr. Turner? Cartoon Network? As young Stewie would say, Send money. Lots of money. Right now.


Blogger Team Grind said...

First off, this was an excellent marketing stunt. It got the attention of the nation. However, there will most likely be some explaining to do, the antics sure got the word out on adult swim.
Another thing to consider is the fact that these displays have been in position for up to about 3 weeks. granted the officials handled the situation promptly today, what about the past 3 weeks. This event shows there is a great failure in identifying suspicious devices in our cities.
- Political Grind

11:18 PM  
Blogger marybeth said...

Why the panic in Boston but not in New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Austin, Los Angeles, or any of the other cities that had the same marketing campaign?

4:44 AM  
Blogger Ogre said...

I'm with Marybeth. Why did only Boston react this way? The woman who lost her day's time, sue the city -- they've got more money than they know what to do with. Sue the mayor who overreacted. Various reports have policemen who responded asking why this was such a big deal. It's the mayor and the police who should be apologizing for acting like idiots.

But I'm sure most of the population of Boston, now completely used to being taken care of from cradle to grave, will agree with and even praise the mayor for his foolish actions. The mayor has no clothes.

7:02 AM  
Blogger googiebaba said...

We in Boston are taken care of from cradle to grave? Well that explains it. That's why Deval Partrick shows up to pay my mortgage each month, and Mayor Menino stops by to put my son to bed. I always wondered what was going on.

2:57 PM  

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