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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

No Special Treatament Here!

Egad, She'd Better!
Remark of Historian Thomas Carlyle, upon being informed that feminist philospher Margaret Fuller had announced in her writings that she 'Had Accepted the Universe'.

I accepted the consequences of my actions,” he said. “I look forward to moving onto the next chapter in my life… and getting back to work.”

With that, Congressman Patrick accepted the universe, as he walked away from the plea bargain which allowed him to plead guilty to a misdemeanor count of riving under the influence of prescription drugs. He was sentenced to court-ordered drug treatment - which he had already begun at the Mayo Clinic for the second time in six months - and a year of probation. Two additional charges of reckless driving and failure to exhibit a driving permit - felonies - were dismissed under the agreement reached with prosecutors. The Congressman, a hereditary millionaire, was also ordered to pay a $350 fine, which may or may not cover the costs of booking him and processing him in the court system. However, the money will go to charity. $250 will go to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Washington. The other $100 will go to a crime victims fund. If Kennedy violates his probation, he will have to serve 10 days in jail.

The Congressman still stoutly avows that he has not, and will not, ask for any special treatment.

Porcupine has written of Kennedy's problems before (HERE), and has averred that he most probably has not asked for special treatment. Allowing members of the Kennedy family to leave an accident scene and check themselves into rehab before a blood test can be ordered is probably a long-standing tradition in Washington by now. There is not now, nor has there been, any unkind inquiry into his sobriety of the Floor of the House, although legislating under the influence would explain a great deal.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, a window washer in downtown Boston, Christopher Guay, has been fired from his job and has been charged with a felony - animal cruelty - which carries a potential five years in jail. A link to the story is HERE. He smacked a seagull that was diving at him while he was up on the window scaffolding with a broom and killed the bird. Office workers inside the building called the police, and he was arrested by an officer of the MSPCA. Porcupine was not aware that the organization had a police force, but supposes he should be grateful in case any choose to attack him.

Mr. Guay, who is not a hereditary millionaire, had to spend the night in jail while his wife scrambled to make bail for killing a seagull with a broom. Congressman Kennedy has not, and most likely will not, see the inside of a jail unless he drives drunk again.

Once again, the Kennedy family has given us a chance to demonstrate that we in New England have our priorities well in hand. Like Margaret Fuller, we may as well accept the universe.


Blogger T. F. Stern said...

An interesting article, thank you.

5:39 PM  
Blogger iozzi said...

Patrick (DUI) Kennedy will get off with a minor fine next time. Unless he does a better job covering it up.

7:45 PM  
Anonymous GM Roper said...

New reports include one that avers that Kennedy was driven home, gave the wrong house and spent several minutes trying to get in before he "realized" that he had the wrong house. I should think he should have been arrested for attempted burglary at the very least. ;-)

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That darn Kennedy! Just look at how tough things were for Rush Limbaugh! They treated him so badly.

Right Wingers are treated so unfairly.

6:14 AM  
Blogger marybeth said...

It's a brilliant idea and should be used for all crimes nationwide! Imagine how many criminals would be willing to accpet the consequences of their crimes if there were no real consequences. Police could clear their books of unsolved crimes, criminals could say that they're really very sorry (and promise to be very sorry next time too) and they wouldn't have to worry about past crimes catching up with them.

Vitims of crimes will just have to be happy with an apology. That way there will plenty of room in jail for those that are found to have abused animals*. (Since animals are incapable of understanding an apology, we'll just have to keep locking these people up.)

I am so impressed with the justice system, I could never have come up with an idea like this.

* Please note that I don't approve of animal abuse but killing a flying rat that is diving at you isn't what I consider abuse.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Charles Foster Kane said...

Because, of course, the two cases are exactly the same. Talk about your false equivalencies.

How many people go to jail for a first time DUI in the District, and what are the charges and sentences those first time DUI folks receive? Until you can answer that, you really don't have a point. But that would require actual research wouldn't it, not just a knee-jerk assumption that if a Kennedy is involved, strings were pulled. I don't recall President Bush going to jail for his DUI either.

7:20 AM  
Blogger Peter Porcupine said...

Mr. Kane - you are correct. The two cases are not the same at all. One involved driving upon a public way while intoxicated, thus endangering other humans, and the otehr involved swatting a seagull. Clearly, it is the animal abuser who should be in jail.

Your point about how often Cong. Kennedy drives while intoxicated if irrelevant, unless you are trying to point out that Mr. Guay is a serial seagull slaughterer.

However, it is worth noting that the incident at the Capitol was his second smash-up in six weeks. The other was in Rhode Island - so I guess the different jurisdiction should save him? Perhaps he can go on a road tour, and drive intoxicated in all 50 states.

And again, please read the entire post - I did say that I assumed that drunken Kennedys were such a frequent sight in the nation's capitol that no special treatment needed to be requested. BTW - the Kennebunk police DID hold the president in jail when he was in his 20's. But he had George and Barbara Bush as parents, not Ted and Joan Kennedy.

10:51 AM  

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